Current mood:	contemplative
Current music:	fall out boy

why do i do this
so today i was sitting around and thinking. and that is never a good thing.

i was thinking.... maybe the thing with the boy, will never work out...maybe it's all fruitless. maybe we will just be friends forever.. just friends.

is that so bad. being his good friend?

when i was talking to autumn over break i said ... you know he either likes me as more than a friend, or considers me his best girl friend here..

is being the best friend so bad?

i guess it is when you want more.

and i do. i want more.


i hate it....how i am always just the friend. they always say "erin you are such a good friend, you are a great girl"

then why dont i get the guy? why do these guys, who say i'm such a great girl.......go out with other girls.

why cant i have more.

blah this is me complaining and being all emo.

and i cant stand that even more than being upset over a boy.




sometimes i wish that i wouldnt care so much. i wish i could just sit back, enjoy friendships as they are, and just wait, wait for once....for someone to jjust walk into my life.
i need to just let it happen. stop trying to make it happen with someone because i want it to...